


Hand Holding Moments

by hanjiseyepatch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Holding Hands, I just can't write a levihan fanfic without bringing up chapter 132, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Other, Romance, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 132: Wings of Freedom Spoilers, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27246547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanjiseyepatch/pseuds/hanjiseyepatch
Summary: The 5 times Levi and Hanji held hands.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 5
Kudos: 122





	Hand Holding Moments

**Author's Note:**

> I am so awful when it comes to thinking of the title and summary. I'll work on that, I promise. Spoiler alert if you're not caught up with the manga.

I

"Four Eyes," Levi called at the bespectacled brunette who sat alone at the bark of one of the tallest trees in the forest while humming. Using his equipment, Levi was able to effortlessly reach her. 

"Hm?" Hanji, who just noticed Levi standing next to her, looks up and smiles at him. 

"Erwin said to prepare to head back. Why aren't you even with your squad anyway?" 

"I'm just enjoying the view of the forest from up here. Everything sounds so peaceful," Hanji said while her legs carelessly dangle in the air. It was indeed peaceful. The sounds of chattering soldiers on the ground seem a bit far away. The only prominent sounds that can be heard are the rustling of leaves whenever the cool breeze blows and the chirping of birds. 

"Yeah. Peaceful enough that if you fall, no one can hear you scream for help," Levi pointed out since he knew Hanji can be clumsy at times. His remark was met by Hanji's light chuckle. 

"Don't worry. I asked Moblit and Nifa to call me if they needed any assistance. And if something wrong happens to me," Hanji spoke and finished her thoughts by showing a flare gun and her snap blades. 

"If you're done gazing at these giant trees, let's head back now." Levi spoke and Hanji nodded before raising her right hand as if she's trying to reach him. Levi looked at it, not understanding what she's trying to do. His steel grey eyes were met by bright brown ones. 

"Levi, help me get back up. I'm clumsy at times so if I stand up, I might lose my balance and fall." 

Without thinking much about it, Levi begrudgingly held her hand and pulled her up. Hanji smiles and muttered a thanks. It was the first time Levi had ever held her hand. Compared to his cold calloused hands, hers was warm and very comforting, though calloused like his. He couldn't understand it so he decided to shrug it off before they used their maneuvering gear to return to their squads. 

* * *

II

  
It was one of those many nights when Levi is haunted not only by his insomnia, but by the faces of the many fallen soldiers. He had never known some of their names but many had expressed their deep admiration to him, calling him humanity's strongest soldier. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to save them no matter how strong he is. 

Hoping to get rid of the restlessness, he decided to wander the dark halls of the barracks. That's when he happened to pass a dimly lit hall. He stopped in his tracks and took a step back. The light comes from Hanji's laboratory. 

"It's either she's pulling another all nighter to finish her damn reports or she forgot to blow off the candles and gas lamps," Levi muttered as he walked to the laboratory. He figured he better check if someone's inside since the last time this happened, the laboratory almost burst into flames because of an unattended candle. He knocked on the door and heard a whimper before Hanji spoke a quiet "come in". Levi turned the knob and saw Hanji hovering over the sink, her left hand holding the other hand which is bleeding. 

"Four Eyes, what the hell happened?" he asked and immediately approached her. Without waiting for an explanation, he grabbed her arm and looked closely at the injured hand. The wound was still fresh and he can see small shards of glass stuck in the open flesh. 

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing serious. We get injured from time to time in this lab. I was just trying to make some tea when I accidentally knocked a flask off th–" Hanji didn't get to finish her explanation. Levi tended to her wound by thoroughly cleaning it first. He noticed that her hand was visibly pale from blood loss and shaken but there's still the warmth. Then, he applied a cotton ball with disinfectant on the open flesh and properly bandaged it. Levi didn't let go of her hand until it was done. 

"Levi, thank you!" Hanji exclaimed and smiled after he expertly tended to her injury. Hanji examined the wound dressing which was done meticulously. 

"Since you're here let me brew some tea for you too," Hanji volunteered and was about to get up when she was yanked back on the couch. 

"Leave that to me. You just injured your right hand. Are you planning to do the same to your left?" Levi got up and brewed the tea leaves. He didn't understand it but he made sure all the glass shards were properly disposed too so no one gets hurt by it again. 

As Levi have guessed it, Hanji was cramming with her reports. She was pulling an all nighter to finish 5 reports. Levi had nothing better to do so he stayed to keep her company. He made sure Hanji finishes the reports and doesn't get distracted by her science experiments. 

After hours, Levi was finally feeling sleepy so he rested on the couch. While sleep was taking over him, he felt someone cover him with a blanket. 

"Good night, Levi. I've got to repay you someday for tending to my injury."

"It's not a big deal. Your company is enough," he thougt to himself as he finally fell asleep, his insomnia and restlessness forgotten for a few hours of peace. 

* * *

III

"No," Levi answered quickly without even bothering to look up at Hanji while he's busy finishing his report. It was 4 in the morning and he didn't expect Hanji to barge into his office. 

"Leviii! Come on!" Hanji whined and flailed her arms to make him look at her. The fact that the Captain was rejecting the orders from the new Commander was a very funny and entertaining sight to see but the way they treat each other never changed. Despite being the new Commander, Hanji didn't let their positions dictate their friendship. If there was any change, it was a positive one. They grew closer and relied on each other even more. 

Levi sighed and finally looked at Hanji who was still whining and nonstop talking about Levi not enjoying the sea the first time they ever saw it and how it was such a missed opportunity. 

"You do realize that it's still early in the morning and we have shitty meetings in the afternoon?" 

Now it's Hanji's turn to sigh before she nods. Now that Levi is looking at Hanji, he easily noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She's becoming more and more sleep-deprived now that she's bearing more responsibilities. He figured that she didn't sleep again which explains why she's at his office at an early hour, given that Hanji usually wakes up around 7 or 8.

"Perhaps Hanji wanted to get away from all the duties even for a few hours by visiting the seaside again?" Levi pondered on his thoughts while ignoring her. Hanji was about to leave his office when he finally gave in. 

"Fine. Ready the horses. I'll meet you outside in five minutes," Hanji looks at Levi and smiles brightly at the man who was neatly compiling the files on his desk. 

"Got it! See ya!" 

When Levi headed outside, Hanji had two horses ready. Before he could climb on his horse, Hanji handed him the black jacket that they usually share. It's been a while since he last used it. 

"Here. It's still chilly outside," she grinned before climbing on her horse. Levi wore it and followed after her. 

They arrived at the seaside just as the sun rises. Hanji has excitedly climbed off her horse, almost losing her balance in the process and he can tell that she's still in awe of the beauty of the water. Once he climbed off too, Hanji looks at him before grinning. 

"I hope this time you'll at least dip your legs in the water." 

"Tch. Don't make it sound like I'm afraid. It's just water," Levi spoke as the two of them removed their boots. 

As they were nearing the shoreline, Hanji suddenly grabbed his hand in hers and ran into the water. This time, it was Hanji who held his hand. 

"Yahoo!" Hanji shouted and giggled. 

"Hanji, wai–" Levi cuts himself off when he sees their joined hands. He smiled a little and allowed himself to be dragged by Hanji who was giggling the entire time. The only time Levi tore his gaze away from their hands is when he looked at Hanji who was now staring in awe at the sunrise. 

"Levi, look!" Hanji pointed at the sunrise with her free hand. Levi stared at the sunrise for a moment.

"I guess it's a good morning." Hanji spoke softly before smiling. Levi looks back at her and nodded. He could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. The beauty of the sunset and the sea are reflected in her tired yet beautiful eye. And for a moment, everything felt okay. 

The only time Hanji let go of his hand was when she sees a sea cucumber and a sea star nearby. But Levi didn't feel upset that she lets go of his hand because he was able to see her smile genuinely whenever she discovers sea creatures that are all new to them both. That smile has been gone for quite a while ever since she became the commander. 

By the time it was 8 in the morning, the two of them headed back. Hanji brought so many things with her. There was a sea cucumber, sea star, sea urchin and a bottle that she filled with sand. But the best thing that both of them brought along with them was not any material; it was that breathtaking moment that they spent together with each other. 

* * *

  
IV

The scenario kept on repeating in Levi's mind. Everything happened so fast. He was sure he's on the verge of death if it weren't for Hanji risking her life to protect him. By the time they got away, she had tended to and stitched his wounds, killed the pursuers who were once their men and took care of him. 

Now it's night time and Hanji had fallen asleep beside him. He knows she's been exhausted and restless lately with all the chaos that's been going on so he tried to stay silent as much as possible; he can't move or do much anyway. He was looking up at the night sky, actually considering the possiblity of living together with Hanji once they finally stopped Eren. The idea of peacefully living in the forest with her brought him comfort and peace. He was about to close his eyes when he heard her speak.

"Erwin, I'm sorry." 

Levi immediately glanced at her only to find her still asleep, a frown forming on her face. She was sleep talking. He had heard before from Nifa and Nanaba that Hanji rarely sleeptalks. But when she does, it's because she's scared, tired and feeling uncertain. 

"I'm not enough to fill the gap you left behind. I'm sorry everyone," Hanji spoke unconsciously as she balled her hand into a fist and tears rolled down her eye.

His whole body was hurting from the injuries caused by the explosion but his heart aches more hearing those words coming from her. Throughout the years, he had watched closely Hanji as a commander. He has seen her bring her brilliant ideas into fruition and has seen her struggle to overcome many obstacles in fulfilling her duties. Hanji has achieved so much and yet she still thinks she was failing miserably. 

Levi reached out and brushed his fingers to wipe away her tears. His trembling hand held hers. He knew his hands are always cold and is almost lifeless now but if it can bring her even a slight amount of comfort, he'll gladly do so and never let go. 

On that night, Levi and Hanji slept next to each with their hands intertwined. It felt like the world was at peace even for a brief moment. 

* * *

V

"I brought everyone here. I killed countless comrades to be here. I will take that burden." 

Levi heard everything that's going on. Hanji's words seem louder and bothers him more than the rumbling itself. He wanted to object at her decision; to yell "Wait!" as she appointed Armin the next commander and bid farewell to everyone. But given his current condition, he can't even walk properly. Everything was going so fast again. 

Ignoring all the physical pain, he mustered all the strength he has and walked to where Hanji is headed. 

"Four Eyes," he spoke, his steel grey eyes meeting her forlorn brown iris. It's been a while since he last called her that and he surely misses those times. Hanji stopped in her tracks for a bit before heaving a sigh. She knew it will be difficult to say goodbye to him. 

"You know it don't you, Levi? My time has finally come," Hanji spoke, her remaining eye was filled with determination to buy the alliance all the time they needed to escape death. 

"I want to look as cool as I possibly can. So just let me go, will you?" the eye that was once brimming with determination now had a hint of fright after saying those words but she was fighting the urge not to express it. Not now that she's decided her fate. They didn't meet each other's gazes anymore. Rather, they can't. 

  
Levi wanted to hold her hand again as he did a couple of times before, to hug her and to let her lean on his shoulder so she could cry it all out, all the hurt, fright and frustrations. But he knew if he did any of that, he'll never be able to let her go. The warmth of her hands felt like home to him and once he let Hanji go, he knew he'll become a wanderer who has lost his home forever.

Instead, he placed his fist on her chest to feel her beating heart for the first and last time. 

"Dedicate your heart."

He spoke those familiar words genuinely but with a heavy and breaking heart. They both knew what he truly meant; that he was letting her go but she will go with his heart too. 

  
As they finally part ways, Levi sat and watched as Hanji fought a one-sided battle against the colossal titans. He never tore his gaze away. 

His memory wandered back to that tree where he first held her hand, then to that messy laboratory of hers where they usually drink tea and finish their reports, to that breathtaking seaside where they could watch the sunrise and sunset together, or even to that forest where Hanji took care of him and proposed for them to run away and live together. 

"We'll go back there," he hopelessly thought to himself before heaving a deep sigh, holding his hand that once held hers, "Later, Hanji."


End file.
